Tuesday, December 30, 2008

My Silent Saboteur

People often ask a question: Is Kongregate better then ArmorGames? It's a tough choice. Kongregate users often point out that it's obvious that Kongregate is better because it has cards, a card game, badges, a chat, and more. Kongregate is cleary better then ArmorGames for playing games. There lies the problem. Kongregate would be better then ArmorGames IF it had any games. Good games, at least.

The highest game on Kongregate is currently Sonny. Look at who uploaded it. It wasn't Kongregate, it was ArmorGames. Look at ArmorGames' account and all the wonderful games the uploaded. Kongregate uploaded the Shoot! (booooriiiiing) and Kongai (snore). ArmorGames sponsors tons of good games. Kongregate has sponsored, maybe about 2 or 3 good games, and then tons of bad games like Project Green and Saboteur.

The creator of Saboteur is NinjaCow, the guy who is a ninja and a cow combined together. He's also insane about killing DrNeroCF, the creator of Fancy Pants Adventures. NinjaCow does everything DrNeroCF does worse. He also tries to do his own games* sometimes, but they suck too. Like this game. In Saboteur, you walk around trying to crack the guard's necks (or not) and avoid cameras until you get to your target. After that, you have to get back out. It would be boring like this, so NinjaCow decided to add "features" to the game. The problem is, the features are annoying.

This game isn't 3D or anything, so it's set in bird's eye view mode. NinjaCow decided to add a circle that restricts your view to make it seem like a spy game. The problem is, it's annoying, it's pointless, and it's just stupid. Thanks for showing us your abilities to block the game screen, NinjaCow, but I really don't care. He also made our character suck. That meter on the bottom-right of the screen is the sound we're making. That's right, our characters make sound when they walk. This might have been cool, but NinjaCow didn't implement a sneak button, so we HAVE to walk fast and make sound. The character can drag a dead guard body so it won't be noticed by a guard. The problem is, he has butterfingers, and can't hold on to a dead body of a guard he just killed without it falling.

Whoever owns the area hired guards that are SuperMen, but they suck. It SAID in the job description that they can see through walls (which they can, thanks to NinjaCow's lazy programming) but it failed to mention they're blind. The entire point of dragging a dead guard body away is to make sure a guard doesn't see it. The problem is, they WON'T NOTICE THE BODY. That's right. The screenshot does not lie.

Is that a dead body? Nah.. I'm probably imagining it.

The guards are also blind in a different way. They have something I like to call "NST:18I" which means Near Sightedness to 18 Inches. In other words, their vision is .0000142045455 of normal human vision, which is 1,267,200 inches (20 miles). Having such a terrible vision must make life hard for them.

Where'd you go, Snake? I can't see you. Snake? SNAAAAAAAAKE!

The missions don't make up for the horrible physics. They're all dumb stuff like "Assasinate Mr.Black" or "Steal stuff but don't kill anybody". The game is boring, frustrating, and annoying. I didn't have the patience to get past level 3. Forget this game. NinjaCow must hate DrNeroCF because his games are infinitely better then his games.

Fail Factor 4: It's not fun, the game is broken, and it's annoying.

Phobia: Probably Scotomaphobia - Fear of blindness

*That have been done better a million times before


  1. I was going to review that, heh.

    First of all, Shootorials is meant to be boring as all tutorials are because they are supposed to be informative. Unless you meant Shoot!, it is kinda dumb to say they're dull. Maybe Kongai for some people but you can't say it as a whole.

    To note that this is a game about sabotage, it makes some sense to restrict your vision to a circle. (Believe me, Jindo is doing that too for his new zombie game) It wasn't executed properly though. I have to agree with the sneak button. I believed NinjaCow did that in purpose but god, it's annoying.

    And it is indeed not lazy programming to make these guards superman. This was rather inevitable but NinjaCow should have done a better job in design (Classroom series did an amazing job).

    And NinjaCow is a friend of DrNeroCF. He gave permission to make those Ninjacow Adventures (and admittedly stole FairlyObvious who is DrNeroCF's girlfriend).

  2. I actually DID mean Shoot! Thanks, typo fixed. As for Kongai, people may find it fun but I'm comparing it to the games uploaded by ArmorGames. ArmorGames has two games (Sonny and Achievement Unlocked) that are better rated then Kongai. Heck, Kongai isn't even on the first page of highly rated games, it's near the bottom of the second, so there are 26 games better then Kongai. As with Shoot.. well..

    It would make sense to restrict your vision in a circle IF this game was in the view of the player. It's in bird's-eye view, so why is there a circle blocking the screen? I would have liked it to be transparent, set to about %50 alpha, but now it's blocking the screen.

    The problem with the guards is the plot. If their "eyesight" was actually a flashlight because the room was dark, then I would have no problem with it. However, the room is not dark, so they have very poor eyesight. As for the seeing-through walls, it's very easy to fix that. Emanuele Feronato even did a tutorial on that: http://www.emanueleferonato.com/2007/04/29/create-a-flash-game-like-security-part-2/

    Also, it's hard to excuse the fact that a guard can walk RIGHT PAST a dead body and not notice it. That's kind of the entire point of dragging a dead body away.

    I'm also aware that NinjaCow is a friend of DrNeroCF